Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
