Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
