he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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