I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
