I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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