Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
