I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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