Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize