yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
