My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
