i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
