All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize