I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
