Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
