She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
