The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize