i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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