In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
