Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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