help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
