so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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