he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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