Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
