they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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