Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
