Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
