absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
