What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
