Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
