Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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