He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
