This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
