I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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