i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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