We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
