So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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