if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
