Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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