i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
