Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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