I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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