This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
