you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
