whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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