Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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