And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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