I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
