He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize