It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
