Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
