and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
