4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
