OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
