i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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