Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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