I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
