No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So squirting runs in the family.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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